Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Wahai hatiku...

Hello :) Malam ini aku ditemani oleh sebuah gitar, seekor patung beruang putih yang hampir sama saiznya dengan gitar, sebatang lilin yang menyalakan cahaya kuningnya dan kesunyian malam. Aku duduk di lantai beralaskan sehelai tikar yang diperbuat daripada rotan yang telah dibentuk dengan halus. Bilik aku masih black out dan aku masih menunggu kehadiran tukang repair. Fuh~ Sabar sajalah...

Anyhow, malam ini hatiku bagaikan terkesan dan tersentuh. Entah mengapa tiba-tiba saja hatiku bagai dipanggil-panggil lagi. Hatiku bagaikan diseru-seru lagi. Dan di dalam mindaku cuma satu. "Kembali mencari hidayah-Nya". Aku percaya panggilan ini datang daripadaNya. Hatiku tadi berbisik sendiri, "Nikmat akhirat yang perlu dicari dan dunia hanyalah hiasan semata-mata". Aku pun tak tahu dari mana datangnya bisikan itu tapi mindaku ternyata banyak memikirkan soal masa depanku. It's been a wonderful life journey and aku bersyukur sebanyak-banyaknya kerana hidup ini indah dengan nikmat dunia yang diberi dan impian yang telah dimakbulkan olehNya. Aku bersyukur kerana Tuhan banyak mengajarku agar tidak terlalu taksub dengan dunia and I believe in it. Buktinya, aku tidak mudah diperdaya dengan harta benda. Mungkin aku belum diuji dengan banyaknya harta sebab itu aku belum mengerti. Tapi, sampai sekarang, aku tidak memandang pada harta benda seseorang. Sudah ramai insan yang jauh lebih kaya dariku yang aku kenal namun aku tak teruja. Aku tak hairan sekiranya seseorang itu kaya. Aku tak memandang tinggi seseorang yang penuh poketnya dengan duit. Yang aku lihat hanyalah hati dan minda seseorang. Sikap dan perangai seseorang. Itu yang membuatku hormat padanya. Itu yang buatku terpegun. Kalau hanya harta semta-mata, aku tak kisah itu semua. There is something more beautiful than diamonds; it's the heart and the mind of a person that makes that person handsome or beautiful. Ok, terkeluar topik sikit. Hehe~ Apapun, this is me. And I guess I'm not the only one who has this thought.

I love this:


AKU MALU


Aku kata “astaghfirullah” tapi hati masih gemar akan maksiat.
Aku kata “wa atubu ilaih” tapi jasad masih melakukan dosa sama.

Aku kata “wa nadimna ya Allah” tapi kesilapan lalu masih kuulangi.
Aku kata “subhanallah” tapi aku tidak mampu menghayatinya.

Aku kata “alhamdulillah” tapi aku masih tidak bersyukur dengan kurniaanNya.

Aku kata “Allahuakbar” tapi cintaku lebih kepada dunia.

Aku kata “ma fi qalbi ghairullah” tapi masih ada ruang di hatiku untuk insan yang tidak halal.

Aku kata “aku tak layak ke syurga, tapi aku tak sanggup ke nerakaMu” namun aku hidup di dunia seakan-akan aku kuat untuk rasa pedih api neraka.

Aku kata aku ingin mendekatiMu,
Namun amalku tak seiring dengan kata-kataku.

Aku malu dengan sepasang mata kurniaanMu ini,
Kerana air mata yang mengalir seakan-akan sia-sia.

Aku malu dengan tangan yang sudah lelah mengelap air mata,
Kerana tingkah laku pemiliknya ini tidak menggambarkan aku kesal.

Bahkan aku malu dengan sang burung yang berkicau,
Kerana aku insan yang dinodai dosa..

Sedang sang burung tidak disentuh walau sekelumit dosa.

~ credit Scha Myiera

I got it from Ustazah Pilihan Fairuz's facebook page :) It's beautiful yeah? It says a lot about me too... :'( Aku sudah nekad untuk berubah. Dan aku sentiasa berdoa semoga hatiku akan sentiasa ditetapkan di jalan-Nya. Amin amin amin... Kerana hanya Dia yang berkuasa di atas hati setiap manusia...

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

My final exam results!

Hi! It's Christmas eve and one year ago, I spent tonight at the Pavilion, KL, enjoying the merry crowds and different kinds of musical performance. It was indeed a wonderful experience. Although I don't celebrate Christmas, but witnessing the celebration makes me feel alive. It makes me realise that this world is indeed a beautiful place to live in. And 3 years ago, at this very night, my siblings and I went to the Empire Hotel to join the crowds and witnessed the merry celebration of Christmas...cookies...elves...snow... :) We just love celebrations and the merry feelings they give. And this year, none. 

However, I did get my final exam results this afternoon. It was GPA 3.63! Just as I expected ^_^ And my CGPA is 3.63 as well. Heheheh~ Manakan tidaknya, 3 semester berturut-turut, sama GPA! Isn't it wonderful? I've tried my best to improve my results but hey, that's all I could. Tapi, it is still an excellent result though! :D :D I am so happy~! Rasa macam tak percaya bila difikirkan... I have completed my Master! 3 semesters and I survived well! Wow.... Perancangan-Nya memang sempurna. Tiada celanya dan memang tepat pada waktunya. Just perfect. Just nice. I am so happy ^_^ I shared my happiness with my parents, my sibs, Kak Nida, Elda and my coursemates! :D :D Now I really understand that feeling of accomplishment. It's so beautiful~ :') 

Guess what? The video made by Mamee Chef sewaktu kami dijemput hadir menyaksikan rehearsal Teater Bahayanya Wanita is sooooo awesome that I myself is amazed! Malu, excited, happy, bangga, semua feeling bercampur baur when I watched this video. Hehehe~ Apapun, it was really a wonderful experience! Thank you Mamee Chef! Check it out! --> Rehearsal Teater Bahayanya Wanita di Istana Budaya

One week and it's 2014. I will do another post to review my 2013 journey ;) Good night!

Monday, December 16, 2013

Travelogue: My glam vacation

My December vacation for this year was glamorous! ^_^ Benarlah kata-kata yang mengatakan: Bila niat ikhlas, semuanya  dipermudahkan Allah. For this year's family vacation, I got the chance to meet Zizan, again! :) And not only Zizan, but some other top celebs too :D

December 6th, 2013: 
My family and I left for Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia on Malaysia Airlines. My cousin, Seri, joined us for this year's vacation. I didn't expect anything except enjoying the vacation fully. We settled in our hotel at Alor Street, Bukit Bintang at around 8:30pm and we spent our first night by having the most delicious Tom Yam treats ever just nearby our hotel. 

December 7th, 2013: 
We spent our morning just jalan-jalan around Bukit Bintang, menikmati indahnya pagi. It was a bit quiet at first. Tak banyak kereta and the traffics went on smoothly. By noon, we went back to the hotel. Me, my sis and Adik waited for Kak Nida to pick us up from the lobby :) Our plan: Going to Istana Budaya untuk menyaksikan rehearsal Teater Bahayanya Wanita di atas jemputan khas dari Mamee Chef. Kak Nida and Fitri reached our hotel at around 12:30 tenghari and we reached Istana Budaya at around 1:30 pm. Because the event only started at 3, we spent our time lepak-ing at the Istana Budaya Cafe. Aaaa...seriously I rindu kak Nida~ <3 It was around 3+ when all the 10 lucky people invited by Mamee Chef gathered around and met up with the Mamee Chef and Istana Budaya people. They brought us up to a huge room where the rehearsal was taking place. 

It was really an awesome and beautiful experience we had! Not only we got to watch the rehearsal, we also got the chance to meet Zizan Razak, Nora Danish, Erra Fazira and Datin Paduka Umie Aida in person! All the top artiste in a package! While Mamee Chef was filming us and these celebs, I learnt and watched how these people worked. Fuh, I really respect them. Work hard, work smart. That's all I can say and I really look up to them :) Alhamdulillah, I learnt the other side of the entertainment industry. Dan sedikit sebanyak aku sudah mula memahami kerjaya seorang seni. Terlibat dengan dunia hiburan memang bukan kerja mudah. Again, I really respect these people. Thank you Mamee Chef! :) I really can't express my feelings and share my experience in words because they are so beautiful and meaningful that I can't find the exact words to put them down. Apapun, itu merupakan kenangan terindah buatku. And that was the starting point of my glam vacation.

Nak tengok photos kitorang kat sana? Klik here --> Rehearsal Teater Bahayanya Wanita di Istana Budaya

December 8th, 2013:
My family and I went to KLCC in the morning. Just jalan-jalan. Actually I planned to take them to Bukit Tinggi but then, my parents didn't want to go outside of KL. So, we just went jalan-jalan and take pics and makan. Just spending some quality time together :) I bought myself a book titled Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. Yeap, just the perfect book for me :)



December 9th, 2013:
Babah decided to go to the Central Market located at Jalan Hang Kasturi. We went there by Monorail and Komuter. It was our first time and I loved the place! I bought myself a shawl and a cute skirt for baby Snow White. We had our yummy lunch there, where I had my first ever bakso gabung. Fuh, sedap~ And guess what? We met Aznil Hj. Nawawi di sana! Hehehe~ He was having some kind of travelogue there with his team :) Sempat juga ambil gambar dengan dia. Pengacara nombor satu Malaysia tu... (before Zizan Razak ;p) My parents yang paling excited sebab diorang minat sangat kat Pak Nil. Haha :D Sempat diorang bercerita dengan dia :)



December 10th, 2013:
More shopping~

December 11th, 2013:
It was night and we were going back to our hotel after spending our time jalan-jalan and shopping sikit. Waktu tu, Alor Street was already busy in preparation for the Street Food Festival 2013 which started on December 13th. My sibs and I were walking back to our hotel when my brother and I saw this cute boy walking slowly passed by us. We were so amazed looking at him without even realising that he was with someone we knew. It was my youngest brother who told us, "Ka, nda kamu nampak Shaheizy Sam?" We were like, "Ha?" Rupanya that boy was with Shaheizy Sam and his family. We were so determined to kejar Sam sampai kami lintas my parents and cousin. Diorang hairan sebab tengok kami berempat was in a rush. We didn't even mention Shaheizy Sam to them. Bila kami nampak Sam berhenti singgah tengok buah-buahan waktu tu, we were so shy that we only stood behind him. My adik touched Sam's shoulder and asked, "Boleh ambil gambar?" That moment when Sam turned around and said, "Boleh", we were all excited and nervous at the same time. Hahaha~ Tapi at last, kami berempat sempat ambil gambar dan salam tangan dia ^_^ Another top celeb you!



December 12th, 2013:
I spent my morning at the hotel while my parents and cousin sambung shopping di Jalan TAR. Petang I janji to go out with Iyka and Zati at the Berjaya Times Square. It was fun jalan-jalan and lepak with Iyka, Zati and her sibs and cousin! :D :D Hehe~ Geng cawi jua banar~ :D :D Love you girls!



December 13th, 2013:
Our flight home to Brunei :') Kak Nida sempat hantar kami di KLIA. Thank you so much kak! I really love you~ till we meet again! :'D :'D 



It was really a glam and memorable vacation for me. Bukannya tempat yang ku rindu, bukannya moments yang ku teringat-ingat tapi orang-orang yang ku jumpa yang buat hatiku terasa indah dan disayangi :') Alhamdulillah... See you all next year, insya Allah :)

Kak Nida, I love you~~~~~~ *hugs*kisses* 
Though distance sets us apart, but we are always sisters at heart.

Friday, November 29, 2013

Kisah Perahu Kertas

Source: Google
Sahabat baikku, Lyn, pernah memberitahuku, "Mak kita cakap, kalau main perahu kertas atas air, dalam hati ada taman". Hatiku terkesan dengan kata-katanya. Aku bertanya sebab di sebalik kata-kata ibunya itu. Rupanya dulu ibu dan ayahnya bercinta disebabkan oleh perahu kertas. Manis sangat, tak gitu? Lyn bercerita tentang perahu kertas padaku kerana aku memberitahunya aku suka melihat perahu kertas. 

"...aku takut bicara tentang hati, maka ku tuliskan saja, lalu kusimpan, dan mungkin kukirimkan ke...entah ke mana" - Dee, Perahu Kertas.

Apabila orang bertanya tentang hati dan perasaan, aku sengaja mengalihkan topik mengenainya. Entah, aku tidak berapa berminat bila berbicara mengenai hati atau cinta. Bagiku, semua itu urusan Allah, kerana Dia yang berkuasa membolak-balikkan hati manusia. Aku bagaikan malas memikirkan tentang perkara sebegitu kerana aku yakin akan janji-Nya. Tidak perlu didebatkan, tidak perlu dikasihankan. Jodoh terletak di tangan-Nya dan aku percaya Dia ingin aku bersiap sebelum aku ditemukan dengan my other half. If it's meant to happen, it will happen. Kun fayakun.

As Kak Needa said, "Kalau perahu tidak singgah, kasih kita berlabuh di Jannah...Insya Allah". Aku setuju dengan kata-katanya... :') Yang perlu aku buat sekarang ialah mencari dan terus mencari redha-Nya agar tidak terlepas dari sinaran hidayah-Nya. I want to live this life fully, have fun, take risks and go for adventures as well as spread love and happiness to the people around me. Dan aku hanya ingin membahagiakan kedua ibubapaku selagi hayat dikandung badan. Bukan cinta manusia yang ku buru, tapi aku lebih memburu cintaNya. CintaNya yang kekal dan tidak pernah menyakitkan. CintaNya yang suci dan tidak pernah ternoda. CintaNya yang indah dan tidak pernah menyeksakan... -n- 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Cintaku di Burgerbyte, Damansara.

Hai! Dah lama rasanya tak update blog kan? Busy sangat dengan assignments dan projects. Dah hampir ke penghujung final semester sekarang. Otak ni pun dah tune in enjin turbo. Heheheh~ Semoga semua urusanku akan dipermudahkan jua. Amin~ Anyway, malam ni I wanna talk about the latest ZTF Gathering event held at Burgerbyte, Damansara Perdana on Friday night, Nov 8th, 2013. Burgerbyte is Zizan's own franchise and he just opened it a few weeks ago --> Majlis Pelancaran dan Sidang Media @ Burgerbyte Damansara

All I can say about the gathering is...it was AWESOME!!!! 65 people turned up that night. Betul-betul happening malam tu. Meriah Burgerbyte oleh ZTF. The Wirefame family pun turut sama menghadirkan diri untuk memeriahkan sesi gathering ZTF pada malam itu. I was given the privilege to sampaikan ucapan sebagai wakil ZTF dari Brunei and also mencabut nombor bertuah. I feel so...wow. Speechless My bestie, Helda pun sampai nervous standing next to me. Hahaha... Though we were exhausted sebab petang baru sampai flight dari Brunei, we both tetap enjoy bersama family mesra ZTF. Plus the burger we had was super awesome! Kenyang sangat tak terkata~ Thank you to Naseer, for the warm welcome :D We will definitely go to Burgerbyte again! Dan pada malam itu juga, terlepas rinduku yang membara sejak kali terakhir aku berjumpa dengan family ZTF ku pada tahun lepas. :'D :'D :'D I also met with a few new ZTF's who were so friendly and loving! :'D Kak T...Alang...Farah...Ida...and all the Singaporean ZTFs... That was my first time meeting them all and as usual, reaksi kami memang macam dah lama kenal. Hahaha ^_^ Our story is also featured in Wirefame Ent. website --> ZTF at Burgerbyte, Damansara

ZTF bersama Ibu dan Nasser.

ZTF bersama Wirefame family
Dan pada malam itu juga, cintaku pada ZTF semakin dalam dan rasa sayangku pada ZTF semakin kuat. Aku berazam untuk terus sama-sama menyumbang pada perkembangan ZTF dan demi menjulang nama Zizan Razak yang kami sayangi dan nama Wirefame Ent. yang kami hormati. And guess what? Malam ni, just before 1:30 am,  followers ZTF di Twitter sudah mencapai 10 000!!!! Ya Allah, Alhamdulillah~ *tears running down* It shows how people are supporting us!


We celebrated this achievement in our group Whatsapp malam ni jugak. Hehehe~ That indescribable feeling of achieving success makes me feel like jumping for joy. Alhamdulillah~ :'D :'D :'D I love you so so much ZTF. You are part of my life now. And forever, insya Allah. Thank you so much Zizan~ You are our true hero. To the Wirefame family, you are awesome. We love you so so much.


Cintaku di Burgerbyte, Damansara Perdana. Berbunga harum laksana taman di syurga. ZTF, kau di hatiku sentiasa. Semoga ikatan kekeluargaan kita tetap sentiasa terjalin mesra. Amin amin amin... *tears of joy and love*

Oh, before that, check out cd single Infiniti Cinta by Zizan Razak and Kaka Azraff! 
ZTFCares... --> Price: RM10. RM1 akan didermakan ke Tabung mangsa Taufan Haiyan, Filipina.





Friday, October 04, 2013

Biarlah sendiri

#nowplaying Rio Febrian - Biarlah sendiri

Hi :) Selamat malam~ Semenjak dua menjak ini, aku rasa senak dan sesak. Fikiranku bercelaru dan hatiku terasa gundah. Entah aku sendiri pun tak pasti mengapa. Ingin dilepaskan tapi pada siapa? Aku hanya mampu melepaskan keluh kesahku padaNya kerana aku pasti Dia mendengarku. Walaupun aku tak tau macamana ingin berbicara mengenai keluh kesahku sebenarnya. 

Lalu petang tadi aku mengambil keputusan untuk melupakan dulu semua masalah dan ku berhentikan semua pekerjaanku. Aku ingin keluar rumah dan berjalan-jalan mengambil udara segar. Sudah lama rasanya aku tidak meluangkan masa untuk berehat dan keluar rumah. Bersama siblingsku, kami berjalan-jalan menikmati indahnya petang di Bandar Seri Begawan. Syukur Alhamdulillah, cuaca amat mengizinkan. Suasana perayaan masih lagi terasa walaupun tidak lagi ramai yang membuka pondok jualan mereka di kawasan bandar. Keadaaan terasa begitu tenang dan ceria. Hati berkali-kali mengucapkan syukur kerana aku dilahirkan di bumi bertuah, Brunei Darussalam. Sebuah negara yang begitu aman damai dan sentosa di bawah pimpinan seorang Sultan yang bijaksana. Petang tadi, fikiranku mulai terasa tenang dan segala kekusutan di dalam minda mula terlerai. Alhamdulillah...

Dan malam ini, aku berasa tenang sekali :) Semoga aku sentiasa kuat menghadapi segala cubaan dan rintangan yang ada. Amin~

Masjid Sultan Omar 'Ali Saifuddien, Bandar Seri Begawan

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

A midnight call.

Hi :) Yesterday evening I successfully uploaded the long awaited video (by some people) of the first gathering organised by ZTF! Aww...Rindunya bila tengok video ni. Kenangan terindah, hanya yang hadir pada malam itu sahaja yang tau. Video yang ni was taken by my sister pada malam gathering tu, dan waktu ni Zizan dah sebak dengan sokongan dan semangat yang diberikan pada dirinya daripada peminat-peminatnya. Awww... we love you Zizan :) We always do. 

Last night I also got a surprise call. I was actually so sleepy and a bit sulky because I waited for my cousins to come home for almost two hours, who actually didn't. I was on my way to my room when my low-batt handphone rang. I picked up the call almost instantly. Excited! Oh, I miss you kak!! Tak lama lepas tu, haa...suara hos kesayangan ramai tu kedengaran di sebelah sana. ^_^ Aww...hati merajuk dah baik. Lain ditunggu, lain yang telefon. In this (RARE) case, menunggu cousins yang tak kunjung tiba tapi yang hadir hero ZTF! Wahahaha~ Anyhow, love you Kak Needa and brother Zizan Razak :) I am blessed dengan kehadiran orang-orang yang banyak mewarnai hidupku, termasuk ZTF dan Zizan sendiri. 

Alhamdulillah... Tak mampu ku ungkapkan dengan kata-kata. Tak sangka pula boleh menjadi sebahagian daripada hidup dia, kan? :) Apapun yang sedang terjadi, Tuhan sedang merancang sesuatu. Alhamdulillah... Berkali-kali ku ucapkan syukur kerana dihadirkan orang-orang yang sungguh-sungguh mempunyai impak yang besar di dalam hidupku. Bukan saja Zizan dan ZTF, malah rakan-rakan seperjuangan yang banyak mengajar aku erti dan tujuan hidup yang sebenar. Alhamdulillah :') Semoga mereka semua akan sentiasa dirahmati dan diperluaskan rezeki serta dikurniakan kebahagiaan dan kesihatan yang berpanjangan. Amin...



Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Impian dan ujian.

Kereta dipandu dengan perlahan. Perjalanan pulangnya ditemani oleh kemeriahan suasana bandar. Kelihatan orang ramai sedang berjalan di kaki lima menuju ke gerai-gerai perayaan. Di kiri kanan jalan kelihatan cucul yang berwarna-warni, menghiasi malam yang cerah. Ditambah lagi dengan sinaran cahaya rembulan dan bintang-bintang yang berkelipan di langit. Radio pula sedang memainkan lagu-lagu sentimental dari Barat. Dia tersenyum sendiri. Fikirannya yang tadi kusut mulai tenang. Hatinya yang gundah tadi mulai terasa lega. Ternyata pertemuan singkat bersama teman-teman tersayang telah mengundang rasa bahagia di hati. 

Sejak beberapa hari ini hatinya terasa gundah gulana dan fikirannya bercelaru. Mungkin kerana tugasan kuliah yang menimbun;  Ditambah lagi dengan komitmen-komitmen yang lain membuatkan dia terasa sempit. Namun, setiap kali perasaan itu datang, dia tetap memberitahu dirinya berkali-kali bahawa itu semua adalah dugaan sebagai seorang pelajar sarjana. Dia tahu setiap jerih lelah dan usaha yang dia lakukan bakal membuahkan kemanisan kejayaan. Dia terfikir mungkin kerana kusutnya fikiran dan gundahnya hati itu disebabkan oleh jauhya dirinya daripada Tuhan. Jauhnya dirinya dari berdoa dan berharap padaNya. Kurangnya dia bersyukur pada waktu senang dan susah. Ya, memang itu sebenarnya. Dan dia bersyukur kerana dia dikurniakan teman-teman yang sering mengajak dirinya untuk kembali mendekati Tuhan. Bukan secara terang-terangan tapi secara halus. Dia benar-benar bersyukur kerana mempunyai teman-teman yang sungguh penyayang dan ikhlas :')

Di sepanjang perjalanan pulang, dia memikirkan impiannya. Impian yang ingin dia kecapi selama ini. Impian itu yang menguatkan dirinya agar terus berusaha dan tidak mahu menyerah kalah. Kisah lamanya telah dibuang jauh-jauh dan kini dia sedang menikmati indahnya hidup bersama keluarga dan teman-teman tersayang. Dia tidak lagi dihantui oleh kisah lama yang begitu menyakitkan hati. Kini dia telah menjadi seorang yang kuat dan berjiwa besar. Dia masih ingat lagi kata-kata dari sebuah movie yang ditontonnya baru-baru ini yang lebih kurang menyebut bahawa impian itu menyakitkan, menjijikkan dan membebankan. Maksud tersirat kata-kata tersebut ialah setiap langkah menuju impian itu bukan senang malah penuh dengan dugaan dan cabaran. Kerana itu dia tahu bahawa setiap beban yang dipikulnya sekarang hanyalah sementara. Kejayaan pasti akan di dalam genggamannya jua. 

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Kau yang terindah

Senyummu indah, 
Tawamu indah,
Matamu indah,
Suaramu indah,
Semua tentangmu begitu indah,
Sehingga membuatku terpana.

Kau kuat,
Kau cekal,
Kau tegar,
Hidupmu penuh ujian,
Dan kau terima ujian sebagai bukti
Kasih sayang dariNya untuk dirimu.

Untuk dirimu yang kuat. Apapun tentangmu begitu indah kerana setiap keindahan hatimu itu terpancar di wajahmu.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

My final semester starts now~

Hai :) Selamat malam~ It's already 19 Syawal and Raya open house invitations are still pouring in. Tak terasa masa berlalu begitu cepat. It's almost hujung Syawal already and my semester sudah memasuki minggu ke 4. Untuk final semester ini, aku berazam untuk melakukan yang terbaik and I will improve myself to get better results. Insya Allah, amin. Semoga dipermudahkan semuanya. I need to set my goals in my head and mesti di-refresh setiap kali aku feel down. Aku tak mau perkara-perkara remeh mengganggu fikiranku. Semoga akan dijauhkan semua itu dan semoga aku kuat menghadapi semua rintangan yang bakal melanda. Amin. 

Anyhow, tadi kami went to Bukit Kukob and Ukong for our relatives' Raya open house invitations. It was fun! :) Seronok sebab kami meluangkan masa bersama keluarga di hujung minggu. Alhamdulillah di atas kesempatan masa yang telah diberikan olehMu :) Kemarin aku meluangkan masaku seharian bersama Elda. We went beraya and just window shopping at the 2013 Consumer Expo di Bridex. That was really one quality time I've ever had with her! Love you El~

Besok akan bermula waktu sibukku. Assignments sudah mula menimbun dan aku akan pastikan masa yang ada tidak akan terbuang begitu saja. I believe I will be able to tackle everything dengan matang, insya Allah :) Aku berdoa dan berharap semoga tidak ada perkara-perkara remeh yang akan mengganggu fokusku terhadap final semesterku. Aku berharap agar semangatku tidak akan luntur dan aku berharap semoga semuanya dipermudahkan dan diberkati. Amin... This is my only opportunity to excel. Let me be strong and be focused. Amin amin amin~ Ok, good night :)

Thursday, August 08, 2013

This indescribable feeling

Hi :) Malam ni malam terakhir di dalam bulan Ramadhan di Brunei. I am still fully awake and it's already 1 a.m. Semalam I only slept for 1 hour. Magically, otakku berjalan dengan lancar semalam and I managed to design a new header for our ZTF Twitter account, Aidilfitri version :) Check it out! Hehehe~ Simple jer~ I slept at 4:30 am. And woke up 1 hour later. 


And oh, check this one out! I screen cropped this from my Instagram account. I got a magazine and a Hari Raya card signed by Zizan himself! Wiuwiuwiu~~~ Kelmarin datangnya di post box. Hehehe~ Thanks Kak Needa! ^_^

Malam ni aku rasa macam tak mau tidur juga... Aku ingin menikmati malam terakhir Ramadhan dan betul-betul menghayati keindahan malamnya... Ada sesuatu yang sedang berlaku di dalam hatiku sekarang. Aku sendiri tak dapat explain. It feels...so tenang...and I can feel there is so much love in there. Thank You God for giving me this wonderful feeling. I really feel happy inside :') It's indescribable... Seriously, lately aku rasa bahagia sangat.. Love is all around and I can feel its abundance. Alhamdulillah :') Hanya Dia yang tau betapa indahnya perasaan ini... And I really want to share my love with everyone around me. Biar diorang sendiri pun merasakan betapa indahnya mempuyai perasaan sayang... Aisehmen. Hehehe~ Apapun, whatever the cause is, I know, love is meant to be shared. Let's spread love and live life fully~ :) Ok, good night!

Thursday, August 01, 2013

Sentiasa bersyukur

Hai dan selamat malam :) Mataku masih belum mau tidur so I decided to post something up tonight. Malam ini aku diberi peluang lagi oleh Tuhan untuk mempelajari sesuatu yang sungguh berharga dari orang yang berjaya. Seperti yang aku pernah post sebelum ini, satu attitude orang yang berjaya yang sangat-sangat ku admire ialah sifat rendah hati. Malam ini, aku dapat mengenalpasti lagi satu attitude orang yang berjaya, iaitu sifat sentiasa bersyukur. Sentiasa bersyukur dengan apa yang ada, sentiasa bersyukur dengan setiap kurniaan dari Tuhan, besar atau pun kecil dan sentiasa bersyukur dengan segala ujian yang diberi. Sifat bersyukur ini lah yang memberi keberkatan pada hidup orang yang berjaya... Dan bila ku fikirkan balik, memang betul. Setiap orang yang berjaya yang pernah ku jumpa, aku boleh melihat mereka tidak putus-putus memanjatkan rasa syukur kepada-Nya kerana diberikan hidup yang begitu cukup bagi mereka. :') Alhamdulillah... Tuhan telah mendengar doaku kerana aku betul-betul ingin belajar dan bersama orang yang berjaya di dalam hidup dan aku telah ditemukan dengan mereka. Semoga hidup mereka ini sentiasa diberkahi kerana telah banyak memberi semangat dan inspirasi buat ku dan orang-orang di sekeliling mereka. Amin~

Semalam, July 31st, 2013, followers ZTF sudah mencapai 6000 followers. Entah aku pun tak pasti nak respon macamana. Hebat luarbiasa sekali! Aku tak henti-henti bersyukur dan mengucapkan terima kasih buat mereka yang sentiasa menyokong kami. Alhamdulillah~ Walau jarak terpisah di antara kami, namun ZTF tetap bersatu. Kak Needa, we do have that lucky charm kan? Just like Zizan :) I love you very much Kak! Bila niat itu betul, insya Allah setiap urusan kita akan dipermudahkan... Alhamdulillah~ :') Semoga ZTF akan tetap bersatu, hormat-menghormati dan sayang-menyayangi di antara sesama. Amin~ Amin~ Amin~

Thursday, July 25, 2013

I love you too~


Hi :) Malam ini aku berada di rumah Nenek di kampung. Malam ini juga sedang diadakan Majlis Berbuka Puasa bersama Zizan Razak anjuran ZTF. Wah~ I am so happy. ZTF sudah semakin hebat. Walaupun aku tidak ada di sana, namun aku tetap rasa happy! Demi Zizan, kami rela~ Aiseh. Hehehe~ Semoga ZTF akan tetap bertahan sampai bila-bila. Demi Zizan yang kami sayang. Takkan goyah, takkan mundur. ZTF tetap akan sentiasa bersatu, Amin. :) Oh, tadi aku juga singgah ke rumah sahabat An-Nisaa ku, Sut, untuk memberikan hadiah ulang tahunnya :') I really love you Sut. I really love my An-Nisaa friends. Hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu betapa sayangnya ku pada mereka :') As we always pray, "Friendship 'till Jannah" Amin... :')

:) I love you too Zizan
Anyway, malam ni dah masuk 17 Ramadhan. Salam Nuzul Al-Quran. Oh... Malam Nuzul Al-Quran... Malam ni, cuaca sungguh tenang. Langit malam kelihatan begitu indah dengan dihiasi cahaya bintang-bintang dan sang rembulan. Tidak ada sedikit awan pun yang ada. Langit kelihatan sungguh-sungguh indah dan permai. Terlalu indah tak mampu ku ungkapkan dengan kata-kata. Di dalam perjalanan dari rumah ibu saudaraku menuju ke rumah Nenek, mataku tak lepas memandang sang rembulan yang menyinari kegelapan malam. Tambahan pula di kampung, kurangnya light pollution, jadi cahaya sang rembulan dapat kunikmati dengan sepenuhnya. Adikku yang sedang driving berkata, "Sudah berapa ribu tahun umur bulan. Sudah banyak generasi yang melihat bulan. Tetap lawa". Aku diam memikirkan kata-katanya. Ada benarnya :) Mindaku mula berputar ligat memikirkan kebesaran Tuhan. Tenang hatiku bila memikirkan hal-hal sebegini :) Sungguh indah ciptaan Tuhan. Hati memanjatkan syukur berkali-kali.

Ok, time to sleep now :) Good night. 
Love is beautiful

Monday, July 22, 2013

Malam yang indah.

Hai :) Malam ini sudah memasuki 14 Ramadhan 1434 Hijrah. Masa berlalu begitu cepatnya dan aku sudah mula merindui bulan Ramadhan. Suasana bulan puasa memang sungguh indah. Tidak dapat ku ungkapkan dengan kata-kata. Ramadhan tahun ini bagiku terasa jauh lebih indah dari sebelumnya. Entah aku pun tak pasti mengapa tapi terasa sesuatu di dalamnya yang begitu menenangkan. Sungguh... Tak mampu ku ungkapkan dengan kata-kata. Hanya Tuhan saja yang tau perasaanku... :') Aku hanya berharap agar Ramadhan ini berlalu dengan begitu perlahan agar dapat ku nikmati setiap malamnya yang sungguh tenang lagi indah...

Tadi pagi aku menonton sebuah telemovie lakonan Andre Taulany; Kiamat Sudah Dekat. Filem lama, tahun 2003. Sebuah telemovie yang penuh dengan pesanan dan ilmu yang bermakna. "Kuasai ilmu ikhlas". Bukan saja kerana pelakonnya Andre (heheheh~ :p ), tapi aku menangis menonton telemovie ini kerana ia sedikit sebanyak meyentuh kalbuku dengan begitu mendalam. It's an indescribable feeling. Seriously. Pokoknya, fikiranku bagaikan diterangi, hatiku bagaikan semakin disinari dan aku percaya masa itu semakin dekat. Aku semakin bersemangat untuk mencapai impianku. Terima kasih Tuhan kerana memberiku aqal untuk berfikir sejauh dan sedalam ini. Sungguh...aku berasa begitu tenang... Sepanjang hari ini ku lalui dengan rasa yang penuh syukur kerana masih diberi nafas dan masih mampu berjalan di atas muka bumi ini dengan tenang. Dan aku juga bersyukur kerana Tuhan telah membawa aku ke hari ini. Aku merasa sungguh bahagia kerana-Nya :') I am smiling now cos' I feel happy inside. I feel loved...

Okay, that's all for tonight. Good night :)


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Gratitude



This is such a beautiful video. Take a few minutes to watch this and try to think what is it in your life that makes it beautiful.

"You think this is just another day in your life? It's not just another day. It's the one that is given to you today. It's given to you. It's a gift. It's the only gift that you have right now, and the only appropriate response is gratefulness."


I feel grateful that I have been given this life. I love just the way I am. I am not perfect and I have many flaws. I choose to see my flaws as my uniqueness and I choose to accept whatever it is that people criticise about me. Let them talk. They do not walk in my shoes. I will never stop learning and I will not let the negative people to influence my thoughts. I love to learn new things every day. Life is all about journey and it depends on me how to live my life. I know what I want and I believe God is always there to help. 

"God is never blind to your tears, deaf to your prayers and never silent to your pain. He sees, He hears and He will deliver."

Live. 
Laugh. 
Love.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Choose to live.

You know, there are times when you suddenly feel down, when you suddenly feel like nobody is there for you, you feel like crying and screaming at the same time, and keep asking yourself, "Why me? Why can't I be as good as them? Why can't I be like them? Why are they happy and I am not? I feel so left out. I feel bad. And I don't deserve to live in this world" I am sure we are faced or maybe have faced these kinds of situations, right? You just feel like you are nobody, you are just like some plastic bags near the road. Waiting to be blown away or worse, burnt. No one cares. No one listens to you. No one realises your existence. And there you are, just standing or sitting there, alone, at one corner. Not doing anything, while watching the rest in the room laughing and talking to each other happily. 

Now, it is the right time for you to fight against the voices in your head. They are just your thoughts, your perception and your sense of inferiority. People know you are there, you do exist. It's just that you CHOOSE to think that you don't exist. Right? Life is a matter of choices. Each and every day, we are faced with situations where we are to choose what to do, what to say. (Except death. You can't choose whether you want to die today or tomorrow or don't die at all). 

So, next time you feel like a plastic bag at the side of the road, just think, "I choose to live. Not to waste all the time feeling sad and upset. Life is meant to be enjoyed and lived. Every moment spent worrying is a moment wasted in my life" Don't worry. God gives us life as a responsibility. We are allowed to choose whether we want to spend our limited lifetime by worrying and thinking about others OR we want to invest in our lifetime to live, really live and love those who are in our lives. Spend our lifetime wisely, or we will look back, regretting all the moments that's passed. 

Don't worry, be happy. Think positive and all the good things will come to you :)

Sunday, June 30, 2013

I'm stuck with you.

"Kau ku sayang~slalu ku jaga~takkan ku lepas~slamanya~" - Mungkinkah by Stinky (or should I write...Andre Taulany). Lagu ni keeps on playing in my head. Over and over again. My sister sampai senak sebab she knows, kalau aku stuck with one thing, I will be really (really) stuck. Except when I know I have to let it go. I will do anything just to find out more about something I like and I don't give up until I get and understand it more. Kalau tak, tidur malam jadi tak lena dan fikiran sentiasa berjalan memikirkan. My latest example would be Andre Taulany ('a someone', rather than 'a something'). Hahahaha~ I even have an Indonesian friend to share it with: A'an from Kalimantan. Thank you so much A'an! ^_^ As I wrote in my previous post, my next dream vacation will be: JAKARTA, INDONESIA. I really-really miss my Surabaya moments with my friends.

Finalis Ning Surabaya (boleh ke?)
Anyway, lagu 'Mungkinkah' ini memang sebuah lagu lama tapi I love it. Tadi petang di kampung, gara-gara lagu ini sentiasa keluar dari bibirku, aku terus upload the karaoke version to my uncle's karaoke list. And I sang it dengan penuh emosi. Twice in a row just after I uploaded it! Tak pernah aku upload sendiri any songs ke karaoke set. Tadi tiba-tiba saja jadi pandai handle karaoke set. Control dengan HDD tu! Hahahaha~ And guess what I just did tonight in my room? I pasang lagu ni di laptop, then sang along...and recorded my voice! Hahaha~ Just for fun! And that was fun! :D

Anyhow, tadi I texted my friends, told them how much I love them! Really, right now I feel like I'm falling in love. One of my friends asked me, "With who?" I said, "No one!" Hehehe~ I believe in abundance. I believe love is around me right now and I feel so loved. And I believe that I must share this love to anyone I love. So, tonight I shared my love as much as I could to anyone I love ^_^ I love my family so much! I love the An-Nisaa and I love my ZTF sisters! Oh, salam takziah ku tujukan buat Ika dan Larrah di atas pemergian ayahanda tersayang tadi... *hugs* Di sepanjang perjalanan dari kampung ke bandar tadi petang, aku memikirkan diorang. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. Aku ter flash back sekejap apa yang berlaku pada keluarga kami pada tahun 2008 dulu and I felt like I could understand their feelings right now. Semoga keluarga Ika dan Larrah sentiasa dikuatkan semangat dan semoga roh Allahyarham akan ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yang beriman. Amin~ Love you both sisters *hugs*

And it's the end of June now. Tak lama lagi Ramadhan bakal menjelang. As my An-Nisaa sisters said, "I love Ramadhan" And so do I :) Can't wait for it to come! ^_^ Oh, I really2 miss my An-Nisaa sisters! Too bad petang tadi our plan to go out was cancelled. Takpe.. Ada hikmah di sebaliknya ^_^ We will go out for sungkai nanti! Yay~ I really-really love them so much! Can't wait to meet them soon!

The An-Nisaa
Okie, that's all~ good night! *nowplaying Mungkinkah by Stinky. On repeat!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

It's after 1 a.m now...

Hi :) It's after 1 a.m now but I am still wide awake. Baru lepas tengok final Raja Lawak musim ke 7. Hensem pahlawan Melayu yang bernama Zizan itu. Hehehe~ ^_^ Talking about Zizan, #InfoZizan was a hit this afternoon. Rasa happy pula sharing sejarah perjalanan seni Zizan, daripada mula hingga sekarang. Though I didn't manage to share a lot but then, it was enough for us sedikit sebanyak untuk mengetahui perjalanan jauh Zizan hingga sekarang :) "Sebelum kecundang, kita usaha dulu", kata Zizan. Apa pun, tahniah buat Zizan dan kak Marina sebab Zizan baru-baru ini dilantik sebagai Duta Sony Malaysia. Rezeki Zizan semakin bertambah-tambah :) Alhamdulillah. 

Malam ni aku tidur lewat lagi. Entah rasanya macam tiap malam aku tidur lewat. Kadang-kadang mencecah pukul 3 ke 4 pagi. Semalam aku tidur hampir pukul 3 pagi. Tengok OVJ di Youtube. Mencari banyak video lama si Andre. I love that guy! He's so funny! Hahaha~ I even learnt a lot about him and his family. Andre si Raja Gombal Indonesia. Hahaha ^_^ And I got sooooooooooo addicted with his song, Saat Indah. (Andre Taulany: Saat Indah) I think it is really a sweet song ^_^ My next dream vacation : Jakarta.

Anyway, during my semester break, I have been reading, watching and interacting with many successful people, and there is one thing I found they have in common: Humble. I respect semua orang-orang macam ni. Walau begitu banyak nikmat yang telah dikurniakan pada mereka, mereka tetap humble. Tetap rendah hati dan tetap hormat pada orang sekeliling, tak kira siapa. Dan mereka selalu bersyukur kerana dikurniakan nikmat dari pelbagai sudut. One of them once said, "Jadilah kita seperti padi, makin berisi makin tunduk"

Ok lah...I actually have a lot in my mind but I feel sleepy... Till next time. -n-

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Some thoughts after midnight

Hai :) Malam ni dah malam ke berapa entah aku tidur lewat. Lewat tu maknanya selepas tengah malam. Sejak aku cuti semester bulan Mei lepas, body clock ku mula terganggu. Tidur pagi buta, bangun pun awal pagi. Memang tak cukup tidur tapi aku rasa hyper hampir setiap hari. It must be the cappuccino I am having almost every day. Hehehe~

Anyway, hari ni aku pulang lagi ke kampung menemani ibu saudaraku dan sepupuku. Minggu ni sudah semakin sibuk setiap hari kerana membuat persediaan untuk majlis perkahwinan sepupuku yang bakal berlangsung di hujung minggu ni. I am soooooo excited!!! ^_^ Tadi pelaminan sudah dipasang di ruang tamu. Tetibe teringat waktu aku menjadi pengapit sepupuku yang kahwin hampir 3 tahun yang lalu. It was fun!! ^_^ Sebuah pengalaman yang takkan ku lupakan :D Dan kali ni, untuk sepupuku yang seorang ni, aku diberi penghargaan untuk meng-order kek perkahwinannya, 100% depending on my own decision! I feel so honoured to do it for her :D :D I was so excited that I went to order the cake a day after she told me about it. Hahaha :D :D

Dan malam ni, aku tetibe je rasa macam ingin membuka balik photo albums yang lama. Albums sewaktu aku masih lagi undergrad dan menjadi salah seorang daripada ahli MPP. Rasa ingin bergenang air mata ini bila melihat balik foto-foto lama. Bukannya apa, aku bersyukur kerana diberi peluang sebegitu rupa dan menikmati anugerah hidup yang diberi-Nya. Alhamdulillah, persahabatan MPP masih terjalin hingga ke hari ni... Aku tertawa dan blushing sendiri melihat kerenah kami dulu. Sungguh, aku seorang yang pemalu pada waktu itu. Bukan malu pada lelaki, tapi malu pada perempuan! Hahaha~ Entah ganjil nya di mana aku pun tak pasti. Di awal-awal sesi perlantikan MPP, aku lebih banyak meluangkan masa dengan MPP lelaki berbanding dengan yang perempuan. Entah aku pun tak pasti macamana tapi the guys were awesome! Tapi, tak lama selepas itu, hubungan kami semakin rapat dan semua ahli MPP sudah terasa seperti adik-beradik. Again, syukur Alhamdulillah, persahabatan itu terjalin hingga kini. 

Aku percaya, setiap pertemuan itu bukanlah sebuah kebetulan tetapi ia memang ditakdirkan Tuhan. Dan hasilnya, hidup aku begitu bermakna dengan kehadiran orang-orang yang ku sayang :) Di antara pertemuan yang paling indah dan terkesan hingga ke hari ini ialah pertemuanku dengan 'adik-beradik' di Malaysia. Sebuah pertemuan yang indah yang tidak mampu kuungkapkan dengan kata-kata :') Alhamdulillah, sehingga kini, ikatan persahabatan itu tetap utuh, malah semakin hari semakin kuat.

Ok...laptop aku crashed just now. Blergh~

Anyhow, apapun yang telah terjadi dan bakal terjadi, aku percaya Tuhan memberiku anugerah terindah, iaitu hidup. I keep telling myself to enjoy and appreciate the present moments because that's the way it's supposed to be. Aku masih ingat mimpiku beberapa hari yang lalu. Seseorang yang tak ku kenali di dalam mimpi itu memberitahuku, "Berbuatlah kebaikan, biar Allah menunjukkan jalan".... :) And I keep reminding myself of it cos' I believe, He is helping me out towards something I don't know yet (but I know it will be good for me).

Alright, that's all for this post. Good night.

p/s: I miss Mr. Zizan, the starfish. It's been almost 6 months since the last time I met him.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Bila mata susah mau tidur

Selamat mentuwong. Buai dah andih kuh update entri mok blog kuh atih. Been busy lately. Macam paya' rasoh oh kan nggium peluang update blog. Taman mentuwong atih kuji aroh peluang kan update. Noh pun dah kuji andih kalap modop. Antah puro mentuwong dah kuji modop aher... Aisehmen... Bahasa Dusun tu~~ Hehehehe~ ^_^ Proud of my native language, ok... :D

Anyhow, sedar tak sedar, dah hampir hujung bulan Mei. Tak sangka kan? Terasa masa itu cepat berlalu. Bulan Rejab pun tak lama lagi habis. Ramadhan, bulan yang dinantikan sudah semakin hampir. Apakah usahaku selama ini untuk meningkatkan diri sudah banyak...? Hm... Adakalanya aku termenung memikirkan hal ehwal hidupku sendiri. Memikirkan berapa banyak yang telah ku lalui selama aku bernafas di bumi ini. Tidak ku nafikan, aku telah banyak mengalami perubahan demi perubahan dan banyak belajar dari pelbagai pengalaman yang aku hadapi. Alhamdulillah, sehingga sekarang, aku masih seperti dulu. Tetap seorang gadis desa... (Aiseymen...) Dan sentiasa belajar dan belajar untuk meningkatkan diri... Hehehe ;) I believe, whatever it is that I am having now is rahmat dan rezeki dariNya... 

Alhamdulillah, aku kuat, dengan pertolonganNya jua. Setiap kali aku berhadapan dengan masalah, aku selalu mengingatkan diriku agar sentiasa bersikap tenang dan tidak gelabah (cos' I tend to be a gelabah person). Daripada tenang itulah minda dan fikiran akan berjalan dengan lancar dan tindakan yang diambil pun rasional dan wajar, kan? :) Dan yang paling kuat sekali ialah do'a. Jangan pernah berhenti berdoa (dan berusaha, of course). Do'a dengan penuh ikhlas akan membawa kepada ketenangan, dan insya Allah, jalan penyelesaian. I've been there :) So, jangan diremehkan kekuatan do'a. Berdo'a di setiap waktu; both kelapangan dan kesusahan. Insya Allah, hati akan sentiasa tenang and more rezeki will come. For He is the perfect planner :) -n-

Sunday, May 19, 2013

And my super awesome day went like this...

It was almost midnight and I was still downstairs, in the living room. Holding my iPad and my phone while watching the Spiderman 2. I had a quarter glass of Coke that night and I was still fully awake. It must be the caffeine. Everyone was already asleep. My mind was so blank and I just didn't know what to do. So, I went to Pinterest. And guess what I was pinning? James Franco. Hahahaha ^_^ 

Midnight. And I already saw some mentions there in my Twitter account. And received some Whatsapp messages. I went through them and left my Twitter as I saw more and more mentions appeared. I decided to let it be my birthday surprise for the next morning. I read some more on my Twitter before I put my iPad away and already I was in tears. Those messages were so sweet and so...sincere. I was touched :') I stopped and went on with Spiderman 2 for the rest of the night. I was texting happily with some people too on that night; my cuz (Bang Nak), my friends and my ZT family.  It was Zati I was texting with when I cried again. I was all in tears, not because I was sad but I felt...blessed :') Blessed with all the wonderful people in my life. Terus sakit kepala malam tu sebab nangis. Hahaha ^_^ 

Morning. I woke up early and went to my usual daily routine. Laundry, feeding the cats, kitchen stuffs and more... Since I'm currently in my 3 month holiday before starting my final semester, I dedicate this time for my family. Plus, my cuz is getting married in June. Many stuffs are to be done for that big day. Ok, back to my morning. It was a usual morning for me. I had a simple breakfast with my favourite hazelnut cappuccino with my favourite pink mug. It was really a wonderful morning. Then, I went off to sending Mummy to her office. Even Mummy sang me a Birthday song in the car. Thanks Mum. She told me that I was born at 12:05 pm. The only exact time she remembered because it was her first experience of delivering a baby. :') I love you Mummy.

Back at home, I went back to my Twitter and there they were...wishes and prayers...and more.. :') The feeling was inexplicable. All I could say was, "Ya Allah, bless them...bless all these wonderful people You give to me...I love them all so much" Whatsapp, Instagram and Facebook messages were coming in too...I even received some through Wechat and Keek! Some of them dedicated pictures to me. Tak sangka ada peminat. Hehehe :p I felt so merry :') Never I had this merry birthday experience before :') At almost 10:30 am, I went out with my sister to do some small shopping. We even bought ourselves a Drive M7 energy drink each and went home before noon.

Noon. My cousin and his friend came to our house. His car broke down somewhere in Jalan Beribi because of car battery problem. They had lunch in our house. It was kinda awkward because he never came to our house before and I don't really talk to him... But, he wished me a Happy Birthday ^_^ Thanks cuz! It was almost 1:30 pm when me and my sister went out to the Mall Gadong for a date with our beloved Aunt Nining. We spent the whole afternoon window shopping and enjoying ice cream and smoothie treats from my aunt. She gave me a birthday present too! It was a pair of chromatic pants and it was mint green in colour. I soooooo love it!!!! Thank you so much aunt!! :D :D It was really a beautiful time I had with my aunt <3 <3 <3 I've never spent my birthday with her before and somehow this year, God gave me the perfect time to hang out with my aunt. Alhamdulillah. 

Evening. My parents balik kampung so it was just me, my sister and brother left at home. I decided to take my sibs out for a birthday dinner treat. So, we went to the nearest KFC in town and enjoyed our quiet dinner time there. It was a beautiful weather that night. We spent some more time in Bandar just jalan-jalan and breathing in some fresh air. It rained in the early evening, so the weather felt cool and breezy after that. Bandar was so quiet and peaceful. Everything seemed so perfect and beautiful. And all I felt at that moment was just the feelings of gratitude and peaceful inside. We went home before 10 pm.

Late night. I went through all messages; all the wishes and prayers from everyone. I could not think of anything else but to pray for each of them. I believe do'a is the best gift a person can ever give to another person. And this year, I received the best presents ever. Do'a. A lot of do'a. :') Which made me felt so happy and just...full of bliss.

Ya Allah, semoga Engkau rahmati semua mereka yang aku sayangi; keluargaku, sahabat-sahabatku, yang jauh dan yang dekat, serta semua ZTF yang kami sayangi :) Semoga setiap apa yang mereka kerjakan akan mendapat berkat dan rahmat dariMu jua. Amin~ <3 <3 <3

It was indeed a super awesome day for me. I can't be more than thankful for that day :') And I woke up the next day feeling as fresh as a daisy ;) -n-

My birth date and time.
Beautiful and peaceful Bandar


Kak Needa, it's the lucky charms we never knew we have. Just like Zan's. 


Sunday, April 28, 2013

Bila ku renung kembali

Malam ini terasa sungguh sunyi. Tadi di dalam perjalanan pulang dari makan malam bersama keluarga, aku hanya diam memerhatikan sang purnama yang sungguh indah menyinari malam. Kereta yang dipandu Babah menyusuri jalan dengan begitu tenang. Aku terus menatap bulan di atas sana. Walaupun dikaburi oleh awan dan kabus, namun cahayanya tetap indah. Sungguh indah ciptaanMu, ya Allah... Tenang sungguh rasanya...

Sejenak ku berfikir... Melihat kembali hidup yang telah kujalani beberapa bulan ini. Alhamdulillah, aku sudah menghampiri hujung semester 2. Minggu depan aku bakal menghadapi peperiksaan akhir. Semoga semuanya akan dipermudahkan dan dilancarkan jua olehNya. Amin... :)

Pada April 15 yang lepas, ZTF mengadakan Fans' Night bersama Zizan Razak, bersempena dengan harijadi Zizan yang ke 29 tahun. Alhamdulillah, semuanya berjalan dengan lancar. Walaupun aku hanya mampu melibatkan diri secara virtual, namun aku sungguh gembira. Ternyata, segala persediaan dan hasil usaha ZTF membuahkan hasil yang tidak terduga. Rata-rata, ramai yang berpuas hati dengan majlis malam itu :) Dan yang paling bermakna sekali bagi kami ialah melihat Zizan gembira di malam itu :') Alhamdulillah~ ZTF tetap bersama Zizan, menyokong Zizan dan yang penting sekali, kata-kata Zizan pada malam itu akan sentiasa menjadi kekuatan dan dorongan buat ZTF: "...kerana anda adalah darah saya, kerana anda adalah jantung saya dan kerana anda adalah separuh dari nyawa saya..." :') 

Anyway, sejak beberapa minggu lepas, hatiku terasa gundah dan tiba-tiba saja merasa rindu. Rindu yang sungguh mendalam dan tak mampu ku ungkapkan. Aku cuba mencari dari arah mana datangnya rindu itu dan akhirnya aku berjumpa jua. Aku rindu padaNya... :'( Sungguh-sungguh rindu... Aku meluahkan rasa rinduku ini pada sahabat-sahabat An-Nisaa ku dan dari sana, aku mendapat ketenangan...dan kesedaran. A wake up call. Aku lalai rupanya... Sungguh lalai sehingga tidak menyedari, masaku berlalu begitu sahaja dan sia-sia...Rugi sungguh rasanya bila ku merenung balik masaku yang terlah berlalu :'( :'( Ya Allah, aku sungguh-sungguh sayangkan sahabat-sahabat An-Nisaa ku. Mereka membawa aku dekat padaMu... I really love you girls... Engkau rahmatilah mereka selalu... Ya Allah, jangan Engkau cabut cahaya hidayahMu dari hatiku...Sesungguhnya aku begitu lemah dan tidak berdaya...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Aku sayang mereka

"Apa pun igt rezeki tu sll dtg tidak disangka2
dr jalan n org yg kita x sangka juga
tp smuanya dtg dr Allah"

"Semua adalah rahsia Allah"

Ku petik perbualan kami di group whatsapp malam ini (dari Kak Needa dan Larrah). Nasihat itu buat Kicik, our awesome brother, Faez, yang bakal menerima keputusan SPMnya besok hari. Somehow, nasihat akak dan Larrah tu menyentuh hatiku dengan begitu mendalam. Aku berfikir sejenak... Berfikir jauh...

Semakin hari, aku semakin menyedari betapa banyaknya nikmat hidup yang dikurniakan padaku. Setiap hari, aku bernafas dengan penuh rasa syukur sebab telah diberikan sebuah kehidupan yang sungguh indah dan bermakna. Setiap hari juga, aku tidak lupa berdoa untuk mereka yang aku sayangi. Aku hanya inginkan kebahagiaan dan kesihatan berpanjangan buat mereka serta sentiasa dilindungi oleh-Nya. Amin~ There is nothing more I can say. Alhamdulillah~


By the way, I have something to share:
One fine day. Tuesday, afternoon. Mac 12th, 2013. I was taking a rest after going through an exhausting day at uni and I was scrolling through my Instagram account when my phone rang. Lagu Bawaku Pergi tu~ 'Kak Needa?' I picked up my phone and heard Kak Needa at the end of the line. I was a bit confused. I was about to ask her something when ...

Zizan : "Hello Yani..."

*I know this voice!!! OMG, it's Zizan! I'm talking to Zizan on the phone!!!!!*

Me: "Hello...Zan?"
Zizan: "hai, tengah buat ape tu?"
Me: "Mmmm...ni saya tengah rehat. Baru je habis kelas"

*Ok, I tried to sound cool while talking to him*

Zizan: "Oh..jap eh, ade photoshoot"
Me: "Oh, okay Zan"

*speechless* EXCITED!

I talked to Kak Needa again.

Then, the phone was passed to Ibu.

Ibu: "Hello, Assalamualaikum"

*OMG, I'm talking to Ibu!*

Me: "Ibu! Waalaikumussalam...ape khabar Ibu?"

*I went all giggly*

Ibu: "Alhamdulillah sihat..."

*And I couldn't stop giggling*

Ibu: "Sukenye die..."

*I went all blushed*

-end-

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Beautiful life

I was looking back at my blog posts and just realised one thing. Things have changed so fast. I didn't even realise how my life has shifted this far. Never thought I could reach this far. And I realised how perfect God's plans are. It has been such a beautiful and meaningful life. He's been giving me tests and obstacles just to let me know how life is not easy when I want to succeed. He's been telling me that life is not meant to be wasted but it is meant to be lived. He let me meet different people in my journey of life just to teach me how important it is to learn from others. He let me feel sad just to let me realise that He is always there for me. He let me feel happy just to let me learn how to appreciate. Sometimes, He does not grant my wishes because He has better plans for me. Most of the time, He grants me my wishes because He knows that's what I need. I can't be more than thankful for this beautiful life. I know, we have different journeys, different experience, different lives but we have one thing. God is always there for us. He's never left us. Pray. Believe. Have faith. That's all. And life is beautiful (if we choose to see it that way). 

Monday, February 18, 2013

Sabar.

Makin hari, hati ini makin banyak diuji. Dan makin hari, hati ini makin banyak menerima tekanan dari luar. Sebelum ini, aku masih dapat menghadapi semuanya dengan tenang. Tapi entah mengapa malam ini, ingin saja rasanya airmata ini mengalir. Namun ia bagaikan tidak mau keluar. Sudah puas ku paksa tapi tidak berhasil. Mungkin sebab airmata ini sudah sering mengalir suatu ketika dulu. Terlalu banyak berdukacita sehingga aku sendiri sudah terlalu letih untuk melayan semua perasaan sedih macam ini. I've been telling myself to stay strong inside, stay positive. I don't know if it's me or my surroundings but I am feeling a bit depressed lately. And somehow I feel like I am losing something in my heart. I don't know what it is exactly but it seriously makes me feel empty... Duhai hati, bersabarlah. Bertenanglah. Ini hanya ujian untukmu mendekatkan diri pada-Nya. Esok mentari akan kembali bersinar. 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Miracles do happen

Miracles do happen. If you believe enough in them. God may not grant all our wishes but we must be certain that He NEVER make mistakes. He knows what's best for us. He does not give us what we want but He gives us what we NEED. We may want someone in our life but that someone may not be the person we need. We may be dying to be with that someone but God does not give us that person because He knows there are others who will give us the real love that we actually need, without us realising it in the first place.

I've never imagined myself having a big family in Malaysia until I met them last year. It is all because of Zizan. Thank You God because you send Zizan to us. He may not realise how he's been shining our lives with his amazing spirits but... Yeah, we love you Zizan. I, myself, have never even realised I need them sisters before this. My Malaysian sisters have given me a new hope, a new inspiration and a new strength in this life. Alhamdulillah, I have got a loving and supporting family, an understanding and loving group of friends (yes, the An-Nisaa) and I am always surrounded by the people I love. Now, I have more friends (a.k.a. family) outside of Brunei! And they are my sisters, too :) Not to mention Zizan himself, our beloved. I can't be more than thankful to God for giving me all these wonderful people in my life. They are my true love and inspiration. God knows I need true strength and inspiration throughout my journey of life and He gives me just the perfect people. Alhamdulillah~

For my parents,
Thank you so much,
I love you more than I love myself,
I promise I will make you happy always until my last breath.

For my siblings,
Thank you so much,
You are my laughs and happiness,
(Though you can be pretty annoying sometimes, haha)

For the An-Nisaa,
Thank you so much,
For being the most wonderful friends I could ever have,
I love you girls deeply (from the bottom of my heart)

For the ZTF sisters (and brothers),
Thank you so much,
For the love and smiles we share until now,
May our family bond stays forever (and ever)

For Zizan Razak,
Thank you so much,
For the inspiration you've given to me,
May God bless you always (Amin).

Monday, February 04, 2013

Hi February

Hi February! It's been a loooong time since I last uploaded the last post. I am entering the 5th week for my second semester now and so far, I've gone through such a wonderful month :) My classes have been fun and enjoyable that I always wake up feeling happy everyday. I am loving my classes, seriously :) And I'll make sure this feeling will always be there.

Anyhow, today, the ZTF sisters held the 2nd Paper Party for Zizan, our beloved. And last night, they were attending Lawak Minggu Ini's studio recording featuring Zizan and friends. Though I was not there physically, but I could feel their excitement! I was feeling the vibe till this evening until I saw their pictures uploaded. Then I had this feeling in my heart. It was inexplicable that I had tears running down my cheeks. I realised something. Yes, I miss them. Very much! Last night, Zizan uploaded his picture at The Curve and today my sisters, too, uploaded their pictures... I felt sooo happy seeing them being able to meet up with each other again :') And suddenly all the memories came back. Our sweet memories. If only I could go there immediately. If only I could see them very soon. If only... :'] Dear sisters, you know who you are. I love you so much that I have you in my heart wherever I go. You are my smile, you are my inspiration. I can only send you my prayers whenever I miss you. Sending you all hugs and kisses over the ocean. xoxo

Especially dedicated to : Kak Needa, Kak Nurul, Kak Yan, Kak Far, Iyka, Zati, Ain, Aida, Nano, Ika and the rest of the family who came that night. Love unites us all.  

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

My 2012 Recap

I was clearing up my study table when I saw my 2012's planner. I smiled and took it out from my stack of books and magazines. I turned to the first page of the planner only to find a piece of paper glued on the first page with these beautiful words:

"A wise owl sat in an oak,
The more he heard, the less he spoke;
The less he spoke, the more he heard;
Why aren't we all like that wise old bird?"

I still remember the moment when I glued this paper on my planner. I took this from an online children's book. And I learned a lot from it. Simply, it means, talk less and listen more :) Anyhow, I just want to quickly recap some stuffs that happened in my life in 2012.

I had such an amazing year last year... Alhamdulillah.... Early in 2012, I was offered a job as a relief teacher in one of the secondary schools, teaching Math to Year 7 and Year 11. It was really a bitter-sweet experience for me. Bitter because of the workload and bad experiences in handling misbehaved students, and sweet because my students inspired me a lot. I love them all so much that I pray for them each and every day. I learned a lot from my teaching experience; a lot, mentally and physically. Until now, I still can feel that inspiration in me.

It was only a 3-month teaching period when I was offered a Masters programme in UBD. Though I was a bit sad to leave my students but I really want to pursue my dreams. I decided to quit from being a relief teacher and continue my journey. Alhamdulillah, God has helped me through it. I am now in my semester 2. One more semester left after this, and insya Allah, I'll have my Masters next year.

Along 2012, I had many-many beautiful moments spent with my family and friends. Multiple birthday celebrations (not to mention multiple birthday surprises), family gatherings, random Raya outings, multiple girls' outings and such. I also got the chance to meet new friends via Twitter. They are now my family; the Zizan's Twitter Family. I love them all so much that I treat them all as my sisters.

The peak of my 2012 journey was my family vacation to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. It was really a dream come true when I got the chance to meet my Zizan's Twitter Family sisters and Zizan Razak himself. And he appeared exactly the same like in my dreams before. In his blue shirt!! ^_^ As I have always said in my Twitter, "I associate him with blue".

Each and every day, I learn to appreciate life and explore its beauty. One of the most important things I've gained so far is that when we focus on the positive sides of life, we attract many positive things. Be grateful and say Alhamdulillah. Insya Allah, God will give us what we really need.

So, for 2013, I will continue to explore the beauty of life through new experiences and taking more risks than before. Yes, sometimes it is good for us to look back just to find out whether we have improved or not. I will continue to give love and smiles to those around me, Insya Allah. I will continue my journey towards reaching His light and yes, I will continue my journey to reach my dreams. May God ease my efforts, Amin.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Zizan's Twitter Family Gathering - part 2


Ok, sambung lagi dari post yang sebelum ni :)

Warning: This is also going to be a long post.

The rest of the night was karaoke session, dinner and ramah mesra. I spent most of my time with my sister, kak Far, Ika dan Zati. And some other girls too~ really, for most of us, that was our first meet tapi semua dah rasa macam adik-beradik. I just can't explain how happy I was to meet them. I really love them all so much! When Zizan dan Kaka performed their hit song, Bawaku Pergi, we too sang along with them ^_^

There was one time when I wanted to take a picture with Zizan. Waktu tu dia masih duduk di sebelahku. And waktu tu suasana riuh sedikit. Aku panggil dengan suara aku yang ayu sangat. Bhahahaha. Dia tak dengar. So, I poked his right knee and said, "Zan, ambil gambar" Gilerrrrrrr.......lutut Zizan tu aku cucuk ngan jari! Huaaaaaaa!! So, yeah, we did take pictures with him.  ^_^ For me, duduk dengan Zizan, bersembang dengan dia and even hanging out with my friends in a room with Zizan pun dah buat aku rasa happy! Zizan Razak tu.... The one and only!

The sisters of Zizan's Twitter Family pun semuanya sporting habis! Seriously macam adik-beradik~ and it really felt like home waktu tu. Ditambah lagi dengan kehadiran Ibu and Along pada malam itu. Somehow rasanya macam we really belong to their family. Sporting lah family Zizan! :D Diorang pun turut sama berkaraoke malam tu :D :D Again, it was fun!

Lagi pasal Zizan. Ada sekali tu kan, waktu kami sedang memilih-milih juadah yang disediakan diluar bilik karaoke, Zizan and Kak Marina berdiri betul-betul di belakang kami. They were discussing something. Tak berani nak ganggu, so aku dan my sister terus pilih makanan yang tersedia. Baaaanyak jenis makanan yang ada waktu tu. We were about to go back to the karaoke room when Zizan sedang berdiri makan di depanku. Dia cuma makan jagung semangkuk. Aku dengan naluri penuh perasaan ingin tahu bertanya, "Zan, diet ke?" Macam kesian pulak rasanya tengok dia makan sedikit macam tu. "Iye, diet.." Balasnya. Aku cuma senyum tengok dia. So, me and my sister pun went to the karaoke room and enjoyed our dinner dengan the rest :D 

Malam itu juga diserikan dengan acara memotong kek untuk Zizan (specially designed by kak Nurul). Zizan ada buat speech yang menyentuh hati sebelum tu that we all went "aawwhhh..." We all nyanyikan lagu "Allah Selamatkan Kamu" for him. Lepas dia potong kek yang hensem tu, Zizan asked us to help to cut the cake into small portions and distribute to other people. Sempat lagi aku minta my sister gambarkan aku potong kek Zizan. ^_^ Sayang jugak rasanya tengok kek hensem kena potong. Hehehehe...

And one last thing was when I was about to go home. My brother texted me, "Ka, boleh kami begambar sama Zizan?" So, I asked kak Needa about it and yes, Zizan was cool! I called my family and at the same time, Zizan keluar dari bilik karaoke tu. My brothers apa lagi, jadi amazed. Terdiam. Tak terkata. Hahaha. Sempat juga Babah bersembang sekejap dengan Zizan. Selesai saja kami bergambar ramai dengan Zizan, kami pun pulang dengan hati yang girang.

Dan sewaktu hendak pulang itulah, hatiku terasa berat sangat sebab rasa macam tak puas spending time dengan sisters ZTF. Sempat aku bersalam dan peluk cium dengan beberapa orang sisters sebelum melangkahkan kaki keluar dari the Red Box. Sedihnya...Entah bilalah lagi akan berjumpa :'( :'(

Overall, malam tu sungguh-sungguh fun and awesome!! Everyone was soooooo happy and we all enjoyed the night! Semua orang berkesempatan merakam kenangan terindah bersama Zizan dan his  family, the Wirefame Entertainment family and his Drive M7 friends.

Memang apa yang aku fikirkan tentang Zizan selama ini semuanya betul. Dia seorang yang sungguh-sungguh baik hati dan down to earth. I could see it when dia talked to my dad. Dia hormat dan pandai bawa diri bila berdepan dengan orang yang jauh lebih tua dari dia. He really is a good guy. Di sepanjang malam itu, asal aku tengok Zizan, I felt like I could see right through to his heart. He really has a beautiful heart :) May God bless you always Zizan.

Okie, this post is coming to an end..sobs! :'(

Buat semua kakak-kakak dan adik-adik di Zizan's Twitter Family, I love you very much. You all have a very special place in my heart. I will always pray for your success and happiness. Saat-saat yang kita pernah kongsikan bersama akan sentiasa kekal abadi di ingatan. Semoga ikatan kekeluargaan kita yang terjalin akan sentiasa erat dan berkekalan. Yani sayang semua~ :') I miss you all now.. Very much. As I told Kak Needa, I think, part of me tertinggal di KL with you all right now. 

Buat Kak Needa, thank you so much sebab akak dah buat impian kami jadi kenyataan. Because of you, kami dapat bertemu dengan Zizan, our beloved. Because of you, we all have a big family. And because of you, we all share the same love :')

Sisters, this is just the beginning. Lepas ni, kita akan berjumpa lagi untuk berkongsi moments yang jauh lebih indah~ Amin~ :') :') :')

This is some clips from that night, as recorded by @IkaNishniel and edited by @MawarRedd:
--> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_2m0zQumQM

This is Kak Needa's version : --> http://nidahani.blogspot.com/2013/01/gathering-zizans-twitter-family.html

Aaand (just) some pictures:



Photo credits to Aida ;)